Darkness

October 22, 2005

~am still in a stage where questions can only be answered on my own..... Only me......... it’s whether to face the consequences or to avoid the outcome of my actions………
~when I lose myself in the heaven of my dreams... or look blankly in a tall dark wall........ Imagining that i'm w/ someone.......... someone more than a friend........... This someone changed my life from just being lonely, sad, full of self-pity, confusion........ But instead.......... that person gave me comfort, inspiration.......... love..............
~then when I woke up.......... alone staring at nothing but darkness I realize..... That I can’t be that person in my dream.......... I can’t liveIn that kind of lifestyle.......... i’m just stuck w/ nothing but........... but me........... Feeling left out, feeling that this world is against me……….
~ In reality, people see me as a person full of laughter, humor, a happy-go-lucky person, strong……….. But when I’m all alone…. I’m a totally different person……. overcoming this pain, this uncertainty really makes me frustrated……… its hard but I must do what must be done………
~to find who really am I, and to be proud of what I have become, and to show what I’m capable to do…..
~Sometimes crying needs a certain kind of courage… a courage to show what you really feel, a courage to show who you really are…….. But I don’t have it……… worst……. I can’t do it……….
~as I always say “experience is a great teacher, we learn and grow from it”… I hope it does……….
~……….. I really hope it does…………..